Sometimes I feel that my best, most interesting writing comes at times when I want to shut my mind off and often when I'm writing letters to friends. But those are also times when I want to avoid saying too much. I feel like I'm not allowed to say all that I want to... and so I sign good-bye and I apologize to the person for saying too much or for saying things that are strange and may make the other person shake thier head in disbelief. I apologize in these letters because I don't want the recipient to believe that I am wierd... or that I think like a madman at all times... Rather, I want them to feel like they happened to catch me at an unusual moment of my life.
But every moment is an unusual moment.
Even when things seem like they are the most boring and monotonous and repetative... That what has happened today would make someone want to watch a re-run of the 2000 U.S. Election. These are events that we think aren't worth repeating--especially in a letter--; but those are probably the times when some of the most original thoughts have been birthed. Either that, or some of the most interesting perspectives and interpretations of those boring events and boring ideas are created.
Maybe I have stopped making sense. Maybe it doesn't matter. Maybe I am making more apologies for the random things that I have ever written because I don't want to look boring or stupid in front of my audience of readers... but, then again... what audience?
