Upon waiting for a friend's e-mail to upload, my heart stirred--my breath shortened--with such anticipation that I felt embarrassed at myself. How to supress these rising excitements that I would like so much to stifle; how to remain friends with someone to whom you would like so much to let out your reasons and your troubles. And I haven't been bogged down by such thoughts for a long time. It's almost nice, I guess, to feel like a human who wants to relate with other humans--though also a bit troubling.

Someone who wants to catch up with what's happened since May. What will I say? While my true value does not depend upon how much I've been able to do or read or whatever, it still troubles me to think of how my time has gone... and what little I have to show for myself.

And I am ever grateful that Jesus does not love me less for my self-waste, nor for the times where I've been self-loathing and destructive. But, he does want those times to change--for me and for you.

I woke up this morning thinking, "I abhor exercise in the morning," except I don't necessarily believe this as truth... I had also been rebelling against the blog for awhile. I'm still feeling oh, slightly rebellious... but, I may be getting past it.

There is grace in the morning, grace in the midday, grace in the evening, grace in the middle of the night.