writing, voice, and the literate world we're born into

Tonight I've been writing. Writing, revising, journaling about writing--diverting my attention from writing by writing phonetic pronunciations of words (homework, not leisurely)--and now I'm blogging.

I need to write a statement for my application for the Creative writing program, but I'm not even sure where to begin. That statement wasn't entirely true, because I've already begun... I just have breaked for too long and need to start again where I left off. I feel like most of what I've written, however, won't work. I'm corny when I first begin a writing assignment. That is, I say only what I already know and what's completely obvious and then I can push away that transparency and get to something interesting. A specific example of this corniness would be the first sentence I wrote as I sat brainstorming about my application statement. I wrote, "I was born to write." That's all. Cliche, to say the least.

But really, I can't imagine living and being unable to write my thoughts. I feel somewhat impaired as far as verbal / oral communication skills are concerned, which may account for the difference in my writing and my speaking voice (Megumi commented earlier on how my writing voice is very different from what she's experienced from me in person). I can't imagine anyone who's writing and other voices truly match--except perhaps those who are very good at speaking their thoughts... anyway... I don't know my exact thoughts on this. Although sometimes I wonder about what kind of intelligence there is in writing and rewriting--changing sentences to the very last comma--where the original and the final end up unidentifiable (I don't think that was the word I really wanted... but hopefully you understood). I wonder not so much about the intelligence, but about the voice--and to what extent can you change a work of writing before you lose the writer's original voice. This is a strange question and I don't plan on finding the answers--but I do like to think about that too when I work on poems. When is time to stop revisions, are there times when the original poem is the best? I think so.

But anyway... back to my statement about writing. In a sense, I truly was born to write... because of the world and the literate society I was born in. There's other support for my claim to a writer's calling. Not saying I'm destined to be a writer, merely that I will probably write up until I can't hold a pen anymore--because I don't think I could survive otherwise. I think there are many many others who would say the same about writing, so I think I'll leave this post with that... and I guess I'll get back to my... writing?

(Thanks for reading, by the way, if you did get to the end... I'm in a wordy mood, I suppose.)