uhhh

Now everything on my blogger screen is in Thai, and I don't know what to do... These words aren't in Thai, but I betcha I could get them to be pretty easily if I took the time. Not going to do it. No, don't tempt me.

It's the start of my fifth week in Thailand. Is that right? Doesn't seem right. But, things are getting better. (Now all I can think about is that Regina Spektor song--"If I kiss you where it hurts... will you feel bet-ter, bet-ter, bet-ter? Will you feel anything at a-a-all?") I'm feeling ants in my bed, that's all. For the n'th time in my recent years, the topic of my nonlinear thinking came up today. Here's some evidence, perhaps... and why I was never good at writing formal letters to people. Why writing papers in school took three or four times as long as they needed to... Why even the friend I thought most appreciated my random thinking and writing style in letters later told me she sometimes thought I was crazy. (The fact that we're no longer friends any more wasn't, to my knowledge, related to this event.) But no one thinks in a linear fashion. There's no such thing as a "stream of consciousness." That ol' awkward metaphor.

Anyway, though, I guess there may be levels and degrees by which, hypothetically, we could measure these things. And, except where certain poems make sense only to me and when I can't even tease out my initial ideas or meanings without wading through a bunch of other ideas first, the strange jumps that this brain makes do come in handy with the poetry thinking, I guess... Oral teasing never was one of my specialties. So I may ever have a complex about this... or, at least, it may ever come up as an issue I think I need to work on--or that I think people think I need to work on. Did you get all of that? No problem, don't worry.

But this is a way to demonstrate, again, my self-centeredness. I would leave it all out, but Paul didn't really--did he? Jesus takes his seat with me. Took a seat with me tonight--and will again this minute. And tomorrow. I do what I don't want to do and don't do what I ought to do, but he's not done yet. Never done yet.