DESPITE ME, HE IS.
zzzzzzzzz.
Evaluating seems more difficult than I had imagined. Evaluating the 9+ months I've been here; evaluating my teaching experience (one teaching day to go!); evaluating my growth as an individual--spiritually, mentally, etc. I'm beginning to try, realizing that there will be questions upon my return of what this experience has meant for me. Beginning an answer now is better than having none when I'm back, despite the fact that the answer will undoubtedly change as time goes on.
Life goes on.
Today my friend received her first word of acceptance for a graduate program in the US, so we must all congratulate her. If she's reading, here's a big sweeping congratulations from the other side of the wall and the world, perhaps. And I'm SO happy for you, N! Congratulations again!
Onto other news: I injured my knee for the seventh or more time over the past month in my attempt to become a runner. I succeeded with four miles, but later found my limp too hard to conceal and today's training too ambitious. Drats. I thought I was really onto something with the running thing. Please, please, your suggestions for knee pain remedies are welcome! Home remedies? Hit me.
The other thing, because this is starting sound like a journal entry anyway, is that I got my first letter of non-acceptance to a graduate program in the US tonight. One down, four more decisions to wait on. I picked up the letter just before dinner this evening with my aforementioned friend and another friend. I, of course, neglected to mention the non-acceptance (which, as you may have noticed, I am refusing to call a rejection, hence the terribly difficult job it would be to select applicants) at dinner. I'm posting the news here perhaps because I am wanting to stop with all of the silence. I am wanting to start talking again and to start living, or resume living. I am wanting someone to tell, though also to have that time with my own reaction before I can listen to the world.
I am wanting to rejoice in the Lord--His goodness--His perfect plan for my life and yours, which is not to harm us, but to give us a hope and a future. I am wanting to become His vulnerable servant--I am wanting to pierce the silence that lingers within conversations of hopelessness, where I have good news to share. I am wanting to know that this has meaning. That these moments are not utterly meaningless, though perhaps in the Ecclesiastical view they really are.
And it feels as if I have been running away, or running alone--trying--for some days, some weeks; that I am needing to learn, like every year before, the faithfulness of the Lord. His presence in my life despite my feelings or lack thereof. Despite my rebellion; my apathy; my inertness.
Despite me, He is and always is.
Always was, always will be.
Evaluating seems more difficult than I had imagined. Evaluating the 9+ months I've been here; evaluating my teaching experience (one teaching day to go!); evaluating my growth as an individual--spiritually, mentally, etc. I'm beginning to try, realizing that there will be questions upon my return of what this experience has meant for me. Beginning an answer now is better than having none when I'm back, despite the fact that the answer will undoubtedly change as time goes on.
Life goes on.
Today my friend received her first word of acceptance for a graduate program in the US, so we must all congratulate her. If she's reading, here's a big sweeping congratulations from the other side of the wall and the world, perhaps. And I'm SO happy for you, N! Congratulations again!
Onto other news: I injured my knee for the seventh or more time over the past month in my attempt to become a runner. I succeeded with four miles, but later found my limp too hard to conceal and today's training too ambitious. Drats. I thought I was really onto something with the running thing. Please, please, your suggestions for knee pain remedies are welcome! Home remedies? Hit me.
The other thing, because this is starting sound like a journal entry anyway, is that I got my first letter of non-acceptance to a graduate program in the US tonight. One down, four more decisions to wait on. I picked up the letter just before dinner this evening with my aforementioned friend and another friend. I, of course, neglected to mention the non-acceptance (which, as you may have noticed, I am refusing to call a rejection, hence the terribly difficult job it would be to select applicants) at dinner. I'm posting the news here perhaps because I am wanting to stop with all of the silence. I am wanting to start talking again and to start living, or resume living. I am wanting someone to tell, though also to have that time with my own reaction before I can listen to the world.
I am wanting to rejoice in the Lord--His goodness--His perfect plan for my life and yours, which is not to harm us, but to give us a hope and a future. I am wanting to become His vulnerable servant--I am wanting to pierce the silence that lingers within conversations of hopelessness, where I have good news to share. I am wanting to know that this has meaning. That these moments are not utterly meaningless, though perhaps in the Ecclesiastical view they really are.
And it feels as if I have been running away, or running alone--trying--for some days, some weeks; that I am needing to learn, like every year before, the faithfulness of the Lord. His presence in my life despite my feelings or lack thereof. Despite my rebellion; my apathy; my inertness.
Despite me, He is and always is.
Always was, always will be.
posted by B-Go at
6:31 AM
3 Comments:
Good to read. He is, was, and always will be.
I'm praying for your knee (What a bummer!) and also for this process of waiting and finding out about where your are being led to next.
By
Megumi, At
9:57 AM
B-go;
As for the knees, my recommendations:
1. Rest; give it a week or two to heal before starting again. Then start slowly; 2-3 miles is plenty for the first month or so. If you want, supplement this with brisk walking.
2. Be sure to stretch. Tight ankles will affect your knees' mobility.
3. Wear good shoes. An on-line store like Runner's World can give you choices based on body type, foot arch, pronation type, etc. I don't know what your resources are over there for acquiring running shoes, but pay for quality shoes and save your knees (they'll thank you in 20 years).
Hope this helps, and good luck!
Peace,
Taiko-ma
P.S. Glad you're staying up with the blog. I really enjoy your writing.
By
Anonymous, At
10:26 PM
Taiko-Ma,
Thanks for the suggestions for the knee pain. My dad told me to work on a stationary bike for the equivalent workout minus the knee pounding. Also, avoiding running on pavement. That advice combined with yours sound quite reasonable, even if resting for a week or two seems too long.
We shall see.
And thanks for both reading and responding. I appreciate your readership very much.
Megumi, also, thanks for your words. How long it's been!
By
B-Go, At
7:34 AM
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